so i was taking a bath
a bubble bath to be specific
i used half a bar of lush’s comforter (however you fucking spell it) and this happened
crazy right? i think my mom’s tub is made of magic powers or something
so i had a nice bath, watched some cry plays on my ipad
and i drained my tub
i came down to my room, two floors down in the basement
and i am greeted with this
i cAN”T FUCKInG BREATHE
One time in a science class this guy was talking about how nerdy girls aren’t cute, but it is kinda sexy when a hot girl can use a microscope so I looked back at him and said, “yeah, it must be nice when a girl can finally see your penis”
god bless your soul
Anonymous asked: What is your ultimate fantasy?
Fun shark attack facts:
- In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans a year. Sharks injured 13.
- In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
- In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
- For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.
- Humans are assholes.
- Sharks are not assholes.
- Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.